Understand why children won’t “tell.”

• Children are afraid of disappointing their parents.
• Children are afraid of disrupting the family.
• The abuser sometimes threatens the child or a family member.
• The abuser shames the child, points out that she let it happen, or tells her that her parents will be angry.
• Some children who did not initially disclose abuse are afraid or ashamed to tell when it happens again.
• Some children are too young to understand. Many abusers tell children the abuse is “okay” or a “game.”
  

Know how children communicate.

• Children who do disclose sexual abuse often tell a trusted adult other than a parent. For this reason, training for people who work with children is especially important.
• Children may tell “parts” of what happened or pretend it happened to someone else to gauge adult reaction.
• Children will often “shut down” and refuse to tell more if you respond emotionally or negatively.
• If your child does not talk to you, don’t think it’s a sign of poor parenting.
  

Talk openly with your child.

• Good communication may decrease your child’s vulnerability to sexual abuse and increase the likelihood that he will tell you if he is sexually abused.
• Teach your child that it is your job to protect him.
• Teach your child that it is not her responsibility to protect others.
• Demonstrate daily that you will not be angry, no matter what your child tells you about any aspect of his life.
• Listen quietly. Children have a hard time telling parents about troubling events.
• Teach your child about her body, about what abuse is. Teach her words that help her discuss parts of the body comfortably with you.
• Tell the child the NOBODY should touch his/her private parts unless it's to help keep him/her clean or healthy.
• Start early and talk often. Use everyday opportunities to talk about sexual abuse.
  

One survey showed that only 29% of parents ever mentioned or discussed sexual abuse with their children.
And even then, most failed to mention that the abuser might be an adult friend or family member. Plus the discussions often occurred too late—almost 25% of sexual abuse cases occur before the child is nine years of age.